


Is This Who We Are?

by AngelsFallFirst



Category: Nightwish, Sharja, Tarja, Within Temptation (Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-20
Updated: 2016-09-29
Packaged: 2018-08-10 00:19:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,981
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7822954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsFallFirst/pseuds/AngelsFallFirst
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Takes place in September 2013 (in the beginning) and April 2014 (for the rest of the story). Follow Tarja and Sharon for a quick journey to paradise ...<br/>[Chapter 4 will be a sequel in 2016]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

"Hi, I'm Tarja Turunen!"  
Those words repeated themselves in Sharon's head over and over. As if she didn't know who this woman was ...  
"Sharon," Sharon had answered. "Sharon Den Adel."  
The women had shaken hands and started with the video immediately.  
They had only known each other for a few minutes, but even after such a short amount of time they had grown together like best friends.  
But Sharon had a little problem with Tarja and she couldn't quite relate to it. Sharon had no idea what was wrong with her but every time she looked at Tarja ...  
She had to smile. She felt a warmth around her heart and she felt ... happy.  
"What are you grinning about?" Tarja asked in a very cute English and Sharon had to grin more.  
"I just remembered something funny," she replied and then they got out of the dressing room with their white robes flattering around them.  
Sharon sighed a little. Tarja really looked like an angel.

Tarja and Sharon hugged after everything was done. "It was such a pleasure, Sharon, thank you so, so much for asking me to collaborate," Tarja said with a smile and looked at the other dark haired woman with the beautiful, brown eyes.  
"No problem, it was a pleasure for me too," Sharon replied and tried hard not to drown in the shiny, green eyes of the tiny Finn. "Thank you for agreeing. You sound even better in real."  
"Aww, thank you," Tarja laughed and hugged the taller woman again. "So, when will we make a duet for the next time?"  
Sharon's smile faded a little as she thought about seeing this woman again. Did she want to? Did she want to see a woman who confused her like this again?  
"You could -" Sharon started weakly. "You could join us for a song next time we're in Finland. April 19th in Helsinki, I think."  
"Good idea, I'm in Helsinki anyway around that time," Tarja said and Sharon smiled, not telling her that she knew. Of course she knew that Tarja was in the jury of The Voice of Finland. Was there anything this woman couldn't do?

April 18th the Dutch band landed in Finland. Their beautiful dark haired singer looked into the sky and sighed - she was now breathing the same Finnish air as Tarja Turunen did.   
The band drove to the hotel and the first thing that Sharon did, was writing a mail to her husband and kids, who had to stay at home. She had never loved Robert more than when he had told her that he would stay with the kids so the band didn't have to take a break because their singer had duties as a mother ... But this love had decreased a little over the last months ... more precisely, since the day in September when she had met Tarja.  
Sharon had no idea what this feeling could mean, she felt excited as she thought about the dark haired woman, excited and nervous.  
Sharon sent the mail and closed her laptop, sighing quietly. She leaned back and closed her eyes, thinking of something she was quite ashamed of ... Small, slim hands that caressed her skin, soft, full lips that kissed hers gently, a cute and beautiful voice that whispered "My beautiful Sharon" to her ...  
"My beautiful Tarja," Sharon whispered back and opened her eyes again.  
She had to see her.

So Sharon drove to the set. It was half past seven and Sharon knew that Tarja was already inside probably getting done ... She followed her tweets and posts on Instagram like a crazy stalker, and right now she really felt like one, standing outside the set, not knowing whether to enter or wait ... As suddenly the door went open.  
And Tarja came out.  
Sharon held her breath as the stunning beauty stepped outside, holding a phone to her ear. She was talking Spanish, so she was probably talking to her husband.  
Sharon smiled as the Finn didn't see her, walking back and forth in front of the set.  
"No and sí were the only things that Sharon understood and even though she loved it when Tarja talked Finnish - she loved it even more when she talked Spanish.  
Tarja was wearing black, as usual. Her dress was long and sleeveless and it had a heart-shaped bust line. Her hair was tied up in a bun, making her look taller than she was. Sharon's mouth went dry as the Finn let out a short laugh and leaned her head back, her eyes closed ...  
Sharon went closer, now she was close enough to see her make up.  
Stunning, as always.  
"I understand," Tarja suddenly said in English. "How's Naomi?"  
She went quiet again as her husband answered her.  
"Aha, okay," Tarja said and Sharon could hear how much she missed her daughter in the younger woman's voice. "Kiss her from Mommy," Tarja said and finally turned to Sharon, not looking at her though. "Wait a minute, Marcelo," she then said and finally looked up. "Can I help -" she went quiet. And her eyes went wide.  
"SHARON?!" she gasped and Sharon grinned widely.  
"Hey, Tarja," she said, failing madly with rolling the R. She had practised it, but now that she stood in front of her ...  
Tarja lifted her phone up to her ear again, letting out some Spanish words (Sharon only understood "Te amo", which hurt her to no end) and then she hung up.  
"SHARON!!" she screamed again and Sharon laughed.  
"Hi, little one," she replied with a grin and next thing she felt was that she couldn't breathe anymore.  
The Finn had hugged her so tightly that she had problems with getting air.  
"Okay - okay!" she gasped. "Please leave me, you're killing me!" Sharon laughed as he tiny woman smiled up to her, her cheeks red.  
How beautiful she was. How cute and absolutely adorable she was. Sharon could just lean down and - yeah, what exactly could she do?  
"What are you doing here already?" Tarja asked.  
"I - I couldn't wait to see you," Sharon admitted and Tarja beamed up to her.  
"You have to watch! You won't understand a word but you have to see my team and everything. God I'm so excited! Great, now I'm nervous."  
"Nervous?" Sharon asked gently, her heart swelling. "Because of what?"  
"Because you'll be watching!" Tarja said and Sharon's heart skipped a beat.  
What was wrong with her?  
She blushed as she remembered the little daydream she had had in the hotel room.  
"Don't be. I'm no one but another Tarja fan in the crowd," Sharon answered and Tarja stared at her.  
"No one but a fan? Oh, please. You're so much more, you're my friend! Now come on!"  
A shiver went down the Dutch woman's spine as the Finn took her hand and pulled her inside the set.  
Her eyes wandered to their entwined hands, surprised at how well they fit into each other. Plus, Tarja's hand was so, so soft. Just as she had imagined it to be.

Twenty minutes later Sharon was seated quite in the front, probably in the seventh of eighth row. Her heart was beating madly while she watched everyone rush around, the camera men preparing the cameras, everyone doing the soundcheck, ...  
"Testi, tesi, yksi, kaksi, kolme," Sharon could hear from every side, followed by a "Moi, Sharon!"  
Tarja waved down at her and Sharon waved back. Her heart stood still as Tarja rushed down to her.  
"I'm still nervous," she laughed and suddenly the woman next to Sharon let out a squeal.  
With a shaking voice she asked Tarja something in Finnish, and only a few seconds later, both Tarja and Sharon had signed her phone case.  
"You'll do great," Sharon promised and smiled at the younger woman. "What are you doing after the show?"  
The words were out faster than Sharon had wanted, but as Tarja invited her to the after show party, Sharon was quite happy that she had dared to ask.  
"It's just a small party," Tarja said. "The big party happens after the finale, which is not until the middle of May. But oh my Goooood, I'm so excited that you agreed!!"  
Sharon nodded, smiling, but not able to say something.  
She was so, so adorable.  
Sharon felt so guilty but the only thing she could think about was kissing those beautiful, soft lips ...  
Kiss?!  
Oh, damn ...  
Sharon swallowed as Tarja waved a little goodbye before she left towards the stage. Sharon watched her warm up her voice ("La la la la la la laaaa. Laaa, laaa."), asking herself what on earth had possessed her to think about kissing Tarja Turunen (she tried to forget about the daydream).  
*Why would I want to kiss her?* Sharon thought. *Okay, she's adorable, beautiful, stunning, one hell of a singer, she's funny, hot and totally cute - one would be crazy not to want her. But why would I want to kiss her? I know I'm not into girls ... I know I'm not.*  
Sharon was sure she wasn't into girls, but still -  
Tarja Turunen wouldn't stop messing with her head.

The after show party was indeed only a small party, they cheered with sparkling wine and that was it. A guy from Tarja's team called Marttin hadn't made it to the next round and though he looked quite sad, he hugged everyone else of Tarja's team tightly and wished them good luck for the next shows.  
"Come on, I'll introduce you to my team," a sudden voice whispered into her ear and a second later the small, soft hand took hers and pulled her away.  
Sharon's heart was beating madly as she asked herself if she could be in love with Tarja.  
Her mind screamed no but her heart whispered yes ...  
*Maybe I'm just excited to call her my friend,* Sharon thought but she knew she was only pretending.  
Tarja introduced Sharon to her team and Sharon eyed the few girls of Tarja's team, noticing with a satisfied feeling that the girls didn't interest her.  
*I'm not into girls,* she told herself, but as she looked at Tarja to confirm that statement, her heart betrayed her once again.  
But why did Tarja have to smile at her like that??  
"I'm so happy that you're here," she said and even though Sharon's heart was beating so fast that she almost couldn't talk, she managed to ask,  
"I hope you didn't forget that we have a date tomorrow?"  
"Of course not!" Tarja shouted and slapped the Dutch's upper arm. "How could I forget a date with you?"  
Sharon's heart went crazy as Tarja said that, not knowing that the Finn felt exactly the same.

*I can't believe she visited me at the set, she came only for me,* Tarja thought and smiled at the taller woman. *She asked me if I forgot our DATE. If she only knew that, if I had a real date with her, I'd be nervous for a week before we would meet.*  
"So, with that I invite you to my after show party tomorrow," Sharon suddenly said and looked down at her, which somehow made Tarja's knees go wobbly. She hadn't felt like this anymore since she had noticed that she had been in love with Tuomas all the time a year before he had kicked her out of their band - but this was different. Sharon was not Tuomas and she wasn't even a man. And since Tarja had never felt for a woman before, she knew that she wasn't gay ... Right?  
However, when Tarja had seen Sharon in front of the set, she had felt as if her world had suddenly stood still. Suddenly there had only been Sharon who had came to her, because of her alone and who had looked more beautiful to her than ever.  
She had just stood there and waited for her alone ...  
Too bad Sharon was, same as her, married and she had children.  
Wait, why did Tarja care? She wasn't ... in love with Sharon - right??  
No, she couldn't be.

After the little celebration, the women walked outside.  
"Can I bring you to your hotel?" Tarja asked as she led the Dutch to her black car.  
"That would be so nice of you," Sharon replied before she told the Finn which hotel she was in.  
"Oh, that one's nice," Tarja said. "And you know what? I'm in the hotel next to it."  
"What, really?" Sharon laughed.  
"Yes," Tarja chuckled. "It's always my hotel when I'm in Helsinki. This is one of the hotel's car but for some reason the owner of the hotel loves me so it's my car whenever I'm here."  
Tarja could hear Sharon mutter something Dutch under her breath.  
"Pardon?" Tarja asked. "What did you say? I didn't understand it."  
"Nothing," Sharon said quickly. Too quickly. "Please drive, I told no one that I'm here. I guess Ruud already tried calling me."  
"Oh, you bad girl," Tarja chuckled and noticed how Sharon's cheeks blushed.  
"Please drive," she mumbled and tried to hide her adorable blush.  
*Adorable??* Now Tarja was blushing as well. Her heart raced madly in her chest, making her drive the car fast as well.  
But when Tarja came to stand in front of her hotel, she didn't want to say goodbye yet.  
"I'll accompany you to your room," Tarja said. "I don't want you to get caught and raped."  
"Didn't know that Helsinki is that dangerous," Sharon chuckled and Tarja let out a short laugh as well.  
"It's not. Just wanted to have a reason to see your hotel."  
"Why didn't you just ask? Come with me," Sharon replied and took Tarja's hand.  
So they walked towards Sharon's hotel hand in hand.  
Both women were happy that it was too late for people who could know them to run around, but still they let go of each other's hands inside the hotel.  
"Do you want to see my room as well?" Sharon asked and the Finn noticed how dry the elder woman's mouth was.  
"Yes, I'd love to," she then replied casually, praying that they wouldn't run into Ruud or someone else.  
They didn't, and as Sharon quietly unlocked her hotel room, it was empty as well.  
"They are at the hotel bar," Sharon told Tarja. "They fell in love with it the second they saw it, I'm sure they're still there."  
Tarja said nothing. Sharon's room was simply beautiful, so white and noble - was it one of the VIP suites? Tarja hadn't paid attention to which floor there were driving.  
Her eyes had only been on Sharon.

Sharon looked at the small woman.  
She had stripped off her shoes immediately as they had entered the room - what a typical Finnish behaviour - and now she was even smaller.  
"Wanna go outside?" Sharon asked. "The view is amazing!"  
"I know how Helsinki looks at night," Tarja replied but she went outside anyway, for Sharon's sake.  
"It's so beautiful," Sharon sighed, not noticing how Tarja only looked at her.  
"Indeed," Tarja only said and Sharon blushed.  
"And so are you," she whispered in Dutch. Like before, she had let her feelings run free - in another language.  
As Tarja had said that the hotel owner loved her for some reason, Sharon had said, "I can understand why he does."  
She was still glad that Tarja hadn't understood her and now she also hadn't - or had she?  
Why was she looking at her like this ...?  
"Tarja?" Sharon asked.  
"Hmm?" Tarja asked back.  
"I wanted to ask you -," Sharon started and shook her head. "No, I didn't want to ask you something. Sorry."  
"You're so cute," Tarja suddenly said, making Sharon's heart almost stop.  
"Goddess, I can't believe I said that," Tarja suddenly laughed and now Sharon's heart clenched. So didn't she find her cute? Cute was almost nothing, but it was better than nothing at all.  
Wait, why would Sharon care if Tarja found her cute or not? Why would she care if she found her cute instead of stunning and sexy?  
Sharon felt insecure all of a sudden. Why did this woman make her that insecure?  
"Cute?" Sharon suddenly croaked. She couldn't bear the silence between them.  
But instead of answering, Tarja only looked at her.  
And put her hands on Sharon's shoulders.  
In a slow move she wrapped her arms around the taller woman's neck and pulled her down.  
"Very cute," she whispered and as she rose on her tiptoes, her lips met hers.  
Only for two seconds their lips touched, then Tarja pulled back.  
"Good night," she said with a smile and already turned around and went back into the room.  
Sharon was paralysed. Tarja Turunen had kissed her!  
She watched the small woman cross the room as the realisation hit her -  
She has kissed her and now she wanted to leave!  
Sharon felt bad all of a sudden, no, she couldn't leave!  
"Wait!" Sharon croaked, but too quiet, so Tarja couldn't hear her.  
Sharon went back into the room as fast as she could, grabbing Tarja's hand. "Wait!" she repeated and as Tarja turned around, Sharon pressed her lips on the Finnish woman's.  
She heard Tarja gasp but to her joy she immediately kissed her back, wrapped her arms around Sharon's body and pulled her close.  
Sharon pushed her back and on the bed, pressed her on the bed and kissed her wildly, her tongue finally finding hers.  
Their tongues danced and for a moment the air was filled with gasps and moans and sounds of kissing, until Tarja pushed the taller woman away.  
Sharon looked down at her, her cheeks rosy, the woman herself completely out of breath.  
"I - I have to - have to go," Tarja stumbled and Sharon got off of her.  
Confused she stared after the tiny woman as she fled out of her room, her heart breaking slowly.  
Now she knew she was in love with her.  
Tarja had kissed her first, but then pushed her away.  
She had probably seen that she didn't feel the same ...  
Sharon broke down on her bed, her sobs now filling the room instead of the beautiful sounds she had created with Tarja only a few minutes ago.


	2. Chapter 2

Tarja, I'm sorry.  
I shouldn't have done that.  
Shouldn't have kissed you ...  
We're both married!  
I'm so sorry. Won't happen again, I promise!  
Don't be mad at me.  
See you tonight!  
\- Sharon.

Seen: 10:07

Sharon eyed the text message for the tenth time already. Tarja had seen it but she hadn't replied yet.  
Sharon felt deeply disappointed as she thought about the day before - yes, it had been a mistake, but now Tarja didn't accept her apologise?  
Sharon was pacing inside her room, not able to get calm. She had fucked it up, she had really fucked up her friendship with Tarja! She couldn't believe how dumb she was ...  
Sharon groaned as she looked at her phone but Tarja still hadn't replied after she had checked two minutes ago. She was close to calling her, as someone suddenly knocked her door.  
"Who's there?" Sharon called.  
"Jeroen," Jeroen answered. "Are you busy?"  
Sharon opened and Jeroen jumped back.  
"Damm, Sharon. What's wrong with you?"  
"Why?" Sharon asked and her bandmate raised an eyebrow.  
"You - uh - look quite done ... Have you been drinking?"  
"No!" Sharon snarled.  
"Then where have you been yesterday?"  
"None of your business," Sharon replied sharper than she had intended.  
Jeroen sighed. "Sorry, Sharon. I know it's none of my business. So, will you accompany us to lunch?"  
"Lunch?" Sharon asked in confusion. She turned at looked at the clock which showed 12:43.  
"Damn," Sharon mumbled. "Sure - I'll be getting ready. Will you wait for me? I'll try to be fast."  
"You and getting done fast," Jeroen chuckled but nodded. "We'll wait in the lobby. See you."  
"Bye," Sharon mumbled before she closed he door and rushed into the bathroom. As she looked into the mirror, she got a huge shock - the bags under her eyes were dark and her eyes were bloodshot. Her face was pale and she looked indeed as if she hasn't had an hour of sleep at night.  
Sharon splashed ice cold water into her face and after closing her eyes for a moment, she applied some make up and brushed her hair.  
After a few minutes she didn't look tired and done anymore, only tired.  
With a sigh she grabbed her purse, stuffed her phone inside and walked down. The band greeted her with hugs and asked her how she felt.  
"Tired," Sharon yawned. "Haven't slept that much."  
Ruud and Jeroen put her in the middle and together they walked outside.  
Sharon couldn't help but look over to Tarja's hotel, hoping she would see her ... And of course she didn't.

But Tarja saw Sharon.  
She looked out of her window and over to Sharon's hotel every five minutes and suddenly she noticed how two men from the next hotel led a woman - Sharon - towards a limousine.  
Tarja's heart ached. She had hurt her so much ... She had seen it in Sharon's look, she had seen it in Tarja's text.

Tarja, I'm sorry.  
I shouldn't have done that.  
Shouldn't have kissed you ...  
We're both married!  
I'm so sorry. Won't happen again, I promise!  
Don't be mad at me.  
See you tonight!  
\- Sharon.

Sent: 10:02

Tarja felt so bad for Sharon, she had felt how much she had wanted to kiss her ... And she hated herself for feeling the same. She had wanted to kiss her back.  
She had wanted to undress her.  
She had wanted to love her all night ...  
Tarja now knew what she felt for Sharon, the kiss had told her:  
She was in love with the Dutch, in a forbidden love.  
Tarja inhaled deeply before she took her phone and typed back, slowly, not sure what to write.

It's okay, I'm sorry too. See you later? I'll be waiting.  
Tarja.

Tarja sent it but then she realised that Sharon probably wouldn't have internet access until she was back at the hotel, so she started preparing herself to have lunch with Michael from the TVOF jury.

"You look horrible," Michael greeted her and Tarja laughed.  
"I know, thanks. Partied too hard."  
"You and Sharon alone, or what?" Michael laughed as well and Tarja nodded.  
"Almost. Sharon - mhh, Sharon took me to the hotel bar where her other band members were waiting. I have no idea how I'm going to survive another party tonight!"  
"That's the life of a celebrity," Michael said with a shrug. "You should know it by know."  
"I'm still not used to it," Tarja replied. "Plus, I can't drink as much alcohol as you, mister!" She chuckled and nudged her friend's arm.  
"Alright, alright. I feel guilty," Michael said with a grin. "I'm sorry, T. Let's go get some food, I'm hungry as a lion."  
Tarja felt relieved. Of course he had believed her, why should he suspect something? No one had seen her and Sharon, right? And if - why would anyone suspect that here had something happened in that hotel room?  
Tarja shook it off - Sharon had apologised and promised that it would never happen again.  
Period. End and over. It wouldn't happen again.  
Tarja couldn't deny that she wished it to happen again ...

After lunch and wandering through Helsinki, the Dutch band returned to the hotel at four.  
Sharon's heart skipped a beat as she connected her phone with the hotel's WiFi and the first message she got was a message from Tarja.

Of course,  
Sharon wrote back.  
Meet you when?

This time Sharon didn't have to wait long, after only five minutes Tarja replied:

Now. Stay at the hotel. I'm coming ... ;)

Sharon let her phone sink. Did she ... No. Tarja couldn't have meant this in another way ... She surely meant that she was coming to the hotel. But the winking smiley ...  
"Tarja's coming," Sharon told her band mates.  
"Here?" Martijn asked and Sharon nodded, still a little confused because of the winking smiley.  
"We should stay here, no idea what she wants to do but look what she wrote -"  
"She's coming! Oh! Damn!" Stefan shouted.  
"Tell her to send a video! Or at least a voice message!" Ruud said.  
The guys laughed. "She wants some time alone with you, I guess," Jeroen joked.  
"Ohh, Sharon and Tarja ... How hot," chuckled Mike.  
"Oh my God, you're so childish!" Sharon shouted, suddenly missing her husband. He had always known how to tame the other guys.  
"Calm down, Sharon, we were joking," Ruud said assuaging.  
"Why are you short-tempered today?" Jeroen mumbled and Sharon sighed.  
"I'm just a little tired - and I miss Robert and my kids."  
"Ohh," the guys immediately said, caring as always ... well, mostly. "Sorry. We didn't want to annoy you."  
"It's okay -" Sharon started but went quiet as the door to the hotel went open ... And the most beautiful person she had ever seen stepped inside.  
She was an angel.  
She was wearing black and white today, which looked unusual but very, very beautiful. Her white blouse was tight and had buttons in the front, making her cleavage very visible. Her black leggings and high heels made her legs look long and Sharon's mouth go dry. The angel took off her sunglasses and as she spotted the Dutch band, her lips curled into a beautiful smile.  
Sharon felt her knees go wobbly as she remembered how she had kissed those lips ... Oh, how she wished to kiss along this strong jawline, run her fingers through this long, black hair ...  
"Hyvää päivää!" the angel greeted the hotelier and Sharon felt some kind of happiness in her chest because she had understood what she had said. "Moi, friends!" was the next she heard from the beautiful black haired and a second later, she had already hugged Ruud and Martijn. "How are you, guys?" she asked and hugged Jeroen, Mike and finally Stefan.  
Now it was Sharon's turn ...  
"Well, we -" Ruud started, but Sharon wasn't able to listen. The small woman suddenly wrapped her arms around her and hugged her as if nothing had happened between them.  
And she didn't let go after a second, she held onto Sharon longer, almost four or five wonderful seconds, and as she pulled back, her cheeks were flushed.  
Gorgeous.  
Sharon was speechless.  
"Hi," Tarja whispered and winked at Sharon, making her heart almost stop.  
"Hi ..." Sharon whispered back.  
She wasn't mad ... She wasn't mad ...  
"So, what have you been doing?" Tarja asked the boys now.  
"Wandering around Helsinki, so nothing quite interesting," Jeroen said with a grin and Tarja fake-glared at him.  
"Did you just insult my country's capital city?" she asked strictly and shook her head. "I'm very disappointed in you. Thought you were my friend."  
"You look gorgeous," Sharon suddenly said and everyone stared at her. "What??" Sharon shouted, her face glowing. "Can't I compliment one of my best friends?"  
"Sure," the guys mumbled and looked away again, now only Tarja stared at Sharon, her face getting soft.  
"Thank you," she said with a gentle smile. "Sharon - can we talk a little?"  
"Didn't you have time to talk yesterday?" Mike asked and the guys immediately started again.  
"What the heck did you do all night?" Martijn.  
"I don't wanna know." Jeroen.  
"I do wanna know!" Ruud.  
"Shut up!" Sharon shouted. "Tarja and I partied, I told you, right?"  
"Partied until daylight," Tarja agreed. "So, can we talk about girl stuff? I really need your help ..."  
"Ohhh," the guys made again.  
"Girl stuff, okay, I don't want to know anymore." Ruud commented.  
"Sure, come on. Let's go to my room, or -?"  
"Let's go outside," Tarja begged. "I feel so caught in hotel rooms." Sharon looked at her gently.  
"In Sharon's room you'd feel like a nightingale in a golden cage," Jeroen commented and earned a slap on his arm by both Stefan and Ruud.  
"Dude - not okay," Martijn scolded him, but Tarja ignored him successfully.  
To be honest, she hadn't even heard him.  
She had drowned in two chocolate brown orbs ...

"Okay," Sharon finally said after a felt eternity and Tarja got ripped out of her trance. "Let's walk a little."  
Tarja nodded, not able to say something.  
They walked outside, some jokes in their necks ("Look at them lovebirds") and after walking as far away as possible from the hotel, Tarja finally spoke up. "You don't have to be sorry."  
"I don't have to be?" Sharon was obviously confused, so Tarja smiled at her.  
"It was about to happen. I can't deny we have ... we have chemistry," said Tarja softly. "But how couldn't we have? We're similar, both of us are stunningly beautiful, both of us have an amazing voice -"  
Sharon laughed. "You're quite self confident," she said. "I like that."  
"I am, sure, I learnt to be," Tarja said with a shrug. "In the past I've always been the wallflower - but Sharon. Life's an asshole, so be an asshole back."  
"Wise words," Sharon chuckled. "But that didn't give me the right to kiss you."  
"I kissed you first," Tarja replied. "And hey - I kinda liked it. Was a nice change for once."  
"Then why did you stop it?" Sharon asked quietly and for a second Tarja thought she had heard sadness in the other woman's voice.  
"Because we're both married. It's still cheating," she replied and her heart ached. She had cheated on Marcelo again, and again she would not tell him and try to forget it because, other than her times with Tuomas, this wouldn't happen again. She hadn't forgotten about Tuomas, though. Okay - they had done more than kissing and they had done it more than once ...  
Tarja shook it off. "We cheated on our husbands, Sharon," she said quietly. "And I think you also don't want it to happen again."  
"You're right, better doesn't happen again," Sharon said icily. "I promised you, right?"  
"Good," Tarja replied, the feeling in her chest still not going away. "Then let's walk back? What are we going to wear tonight?"

She obviously hadn't liked it. She had said she had liked it, but she hadn't. Sharon swallowed hard as she applied the lipstick. She liked getting ready for a show, it was like enjoying the calmness before a storm.  
Last check in her mirror - she looked good! Sharon tried to smile, even though she wasn't in the mood to smile. Really not. Smiling looked so wrong right now.  
A knock on her door and Sharon groaned. "Told you already, Jeroen, I'm done soon!"  
"It's me," a female voice replied.  
Sharon closed her eyes for moment and tried to breathe calmly. "Come in, Tarja."  
Tarja stepped inside, looking more gorgeous than ever. Every time Sharon saw her, she looked even more stunning that she had before.  
"Wow!" Tarja shouted. "Damn, Sharon! Love your dress."  
"Love your dress as well," Sharon replied and eyed Tarja's dress - a long black one with lace sleeves. It had no cut out at all, but Sharon's eyes wandered down anyway, resting on her boobs for a moment, until she continued travelling down with her eyes. She was so slim ... But still curvy as hell ... Sharon wanted to touch those curves desperately.  
"Sh-Sharon ...?"  
Sharon's eyes met the beautiful green orbs of her beautiful opposite. "Yes?"  
"What are you doing ...?"  
"I'm admiring your dress," Sharon answered and stepped closer. "Who did your make up?"  
"Me, myself and I." Tarja said and Sharon chuckled, touching her cheek.  
"Beautiful. I may be a fashion designer but I'm no make up artist. But you could be ..." She fell silent as her eyes went to Tarja's lips. Beautiful formed lips ...  
"Shar-?" Tarja whispered again, but Sharon shook her head.  
"Shh," she whispered. "Tarja ... Just tell me. Did you like our kiss?"  
"Yes," Tarja immediately said. "I'm not ashamed of it, Sharon, but our husbands ..."  
She went quiet as Sharon's fingers caressed her cheekbones, a feeling running down her spine, that Tarja had never imagined to feel because of Sharon.  
"Our husbands aren't here ..." Sharon mumbled and lifted Tarja's chin, making her look at the taller woman.  
"Are you suggesting ... Sharon, I can't cheat on Marcelo again, those times are over."  
Sharon nodded, she knew about her and her past with Tuomas.  
"It's different, Tari," she said, Tarja's heart melting at sharon calling her by her nickname. "I have no dick."  
Tarja raised her eyebrow. "Are you sure?"  
Sharon laughed and kissed Tarja's cheek. "You can check that later," she whispered and as she pulled back, she winked. "See you soon - on stage."  
Tarja nodded weakly and as Sharon left the dressing room, Tarja simply stayed.  
Sharon had been daring enough to ask her ... ask her to sleep with her ...

Tarja was shaking.  
"I present ...!"  
She had never been that nervous. Not even before her first concert.  
"My dear friend ...!"  
Tarja felt like vomiting. Not even before her first concert with Nightwish she had felt like that.  
"Ohh, you all know her, of course. My dear friend TARJA TURUNEN!"  
Tarja smiled at the way Sharon said her name, but the crowd made her nervous again.  
They screamed for her.  
Well, not directly.  
They didn't scream her name.  
"Sharja! Sharja! Sharja!"  
Tarja got pale. Sh-Sharja?  
Sharon and - Tarja? Sure "Sharja" meant Tarja and Sharon, what else?  
"There she is, my beautiful friend!" Sharon called and Tarja waved the crowd.  
"Hyvää iltaa, Helsinki! Do you have fun?"  
"Sharja! Sharja!" the crowd growled back and suddenly Sharon wrapped her arm around Tarja, making the crowd go wild.  
And as the intro of Paradise started, Tarja wrapped her arm around Sharon as well.  
"There's no sense, the fire burns. When wisdom fails, it changes all. The wheel embodies all that keeps on turning."  
Tarja looked at Sharon and smiled before she started singing.  
"Blood red skies, I feel so cold, no innocence, we play our role. The wheel embodies all, where are we going?"

"Kiitos, Helsinki! You were amazing! You always are!" Tarja shouted and took a bow. "Love you, guys! You're beautiful. Enjoy your evening with my friends here -" she pointed at Within Temptation - "and see you next Friday!!" She sent kisses to the crowd. "Hyvää yötä!"  
"Sharja! Sharja!"  
Tarja embraced Sharon and left the stage quickly. It had been so awkward ... They had touched all the time ... Held each others hands ... Smiled at each other ...  
Tarja's heart was beating in expectation as she positioned herself at the front exit of the arena, where Sharon had asked her to wait.  
And she waited ... And waited ... And thought about what she was about to do.  
Cheat on her husband again.  
This time with a woman.  
*I'll do it,* Tarja told herself and nodded. *Never done it before and hey - it's adventurous. Writer's gold! And there's a first time for anything. Good that I have my vibrator with me, since Marcelo ...*  
Tarja couldn't even finish her thoughts. Marcelo. She had brought the plastic thing because Marcelo wasn't here. She hadn't brought it to sleep with another woman - but hey, he hadn't found out about her and Tuomas, so he wouldn't find out about her and Sharon.  
Yes. She'd do it.  
She wouldn't have to do it alone, now she looked forward it. And as long as there were no feeling involved ... Tarja was sure she was in love with the Dutch singer but she was also sure that the other singer wasn't in love with her. And Tarja couldn't blame her, Sharon was older and also more experienced in life than she was. It was only a small fling for her, Tarja knew that. She was sure that Sharon had such flings every now and then, maybe even with fellow singers? Floor? Simone? What if she and Tuomas ...?  
No.  
Never.  
Tarja laughed about her own thoughts and after a sigh she went to the café vis-a-vis. The concert would end in ten minutes and Tarja didn't want to got seen by fans.

Later she watched the fans leave the arena and panicking she noticed that some of them headed to the café - she put a note on the table, not caring about the fact that she had left almost five Euros too much, and with her sunglasses and hood over her head she left the café, her eyes on the ground.  
No one noticed her, everyone was talking about the recently ended concert. Tarja could even make out some of their reviews:  
"They're so cute!"  
"Gosh, I ship them so much."  
"Someone should write a fanfiction about them."  
"Did you see how Tarja looked at Sharon??"  
"Please kill me, oh, those looks they gave each other."  
Tarja paled visibly. Had it been that obvious?  
"So, if they don't have an affair, I'll sell my Tarja autograph." said a voice.  
"Haha, I wouldn't be too sure, Paula. But I'd like to buy the autograph," her friend answered and Tarja vanished behind the arena before someone would notice a small, dark figure, standing next to the arena in the dark.  
Now she just had to wait until Sharon and the guys left the building.  
Should she write her? No, Sharon didn't have internet access ... Tarja pulled out her phone anyway, checking the clock, as someone suddenly grabbed her from behind.  
Tarja wanted to start screaming, but it was too late. Someone had already covered her mouth with his hands and was now pulling her ruggedly against himself with his strong arms.


	3. Chapter 3

Tarja wanted to scream but the hands on her mouth wouldn't let her.  
She reached behind and grabbed the first thing she could reach, which happened to be her attacker's long hair. She pulled it and screeched into the hand - as she suddenly let her go.  
... She?  
Tarja whirled around - and looked into the most beautiful brown eyes she had ever seen.  
And only a second later, Sharon's soft lips met hers.  
Tarja closed her eyes and wrapped her arms around her attacker, relieved that it had been Sharon. She let out a little moan as Sharon let her tongue run along Tarja's bottom lip and she parted them, only a little, but Sharon seized the moment and inserted her tongue.  
The kiss was gentle and slow, not passionate as the kiss from the day before. Tarja's knees got wobbly and she had to hold onto the taller woman, otherwise she would have fainted. Her lips were so, so soft ...  
Tarja gasped a little as she felt Sharon's slim hand on her cheek. Her cold fingers caressed her cheek and jawline, and she could feel how Sharon let out a sigh. Then her fingers travelled down and behind her neck. Gently, Sharon put her hand on the back of Tarja's head and pulled her even closer.  
They were so close now, Tarja could smell her. Still giving everything into the kiss, she put her hands on Sharon's ass and Sharon let out a small chuckle, gently biting her crush's bottom lip. "Can't wait?" she whispered and Tarja shook her head, kneading the Dutch's butt cheeks.  
"You have a nice ass ..."  
"So do you," Sharon whispered and grinned. "On every picture I find of you, I look for your ass ... and your boobs. And I get so excited when you see something of them."  
"Really?" Tarja asked. "I don't even have deep cut outs ..."  
"I don't mind, I enjoy looking at them anyway," Sharon said with a shrug and placed her hands on Tarja's breasts, gently starting to knead them through the fabric. "I'm glad you agreed to my suggestion ..." she mumbled and placed a kiss on her nose. "I was afraid you'd decline ... After you ran away yesterday ..." She kissed her right cheekbone. "Why are you so beautiful?"  
Tarja blushed. "I was close to declining but hey, I need to get more adventurous. And ... why are you so beautiful, Sharon?"  
Sharon smiled at her. "We should move our asses, my beauty," she mumbled. "The guys already think there's something between us ... Let's make them not wait longer."  
"Can we go to my room later?" Tarja asked. "Because the guys are in the same hotel as you and ... I don't want them to disturb ..."  
"Me neither," Sharon said and cupped the younger woman's face, just looking at her for a while.  
No one was able to say a word for some time, until Tarja rose on her tiptoes, pressing a kiss on Sharon's lips.  
"My beauty," she whispered with a mischievous grin and then they let go of each other, walking back inside, their fingers touching ...

This party was a real party.  
They drove back to the hotel where the band was staying and while the guys got drunk, Tarja and Sharon payed attention that they didn't drink too much. Because once the guys were too drunk to notice anything anymore, they could get away without a problem.  
And finally it was time.  
"Let's take a walk ..." Sharon breathed into Tarja's ear, a feeling that sent chills over Tarja's skin.  
"Coming," she said, almost inaudible, and stood up from the bar.  
"Where'ya goin'?" Jeroen slurred and Sharon waved at the guys. "See you tomorrow - I'll go upstairs. I need some sleep."  
"Does Tarja sleep in your room?" Martijn asked and Tarja laughed.  
"No, but I think I'd disturb you ... Being the only girl in a group of boys is not so funny. I'll go to bed too, I've had an exhausting week."  
"Alright then," Ruud said. "Good night, you two. We'll leave at nine, Sharon."  
Sharon's heart clenched and so did Tarja's. "Right ..."  
"Hyvää yötä." Tarja waved at the boys as well and they left the hotel bar.  
And walked outside the hotel.  
"At nine ..." Tarja whispered and looked at Sharon. "How -"  
"Don't," Sharon interrupted the Finn. "Don't talk about tomorrow. It's here and now what counts and you're here with me right now." The Dutch bit her lip before she smiled and sunk her lips on the ones of the smaller woman.  
It was quiet on the street, they were lucky to live in an area where no one would wander around after midnight. Only the sounds of kissing were audible, and as Sharon took her lips away again to sink them on Tarja's neck, the younger woman had to gasp.  
Sharon's lips moved over her skin gently and Tarja could feel desperate need for the other singer, so much need that it was almost painful.  
"Sharon ..." she whispered and her eyes fluttered open when one of the Dutch's hand went to her breast again, squeezing it gently. "Let's move that."  
Sharon nodded.

The hotel was empty and quiet, everyone was sleeping already. Tarja thanked God for this, what if someone had seen them? She had been successful when she had cheated on Marcelo with Tuomas - well, one time Emppu had seen them making out after the Century Child tour (Tarja had come to comfort Tuomas, which had led to more), but besides that no one had seen them. No one had seen her and Tuomas but would see her and Sharon now? That wouldn't make sense.  
Tarja looked at the taller woman in the elevator.  
She was so, so beautiful. Sharon's brown eyes rested on her and she could read so much in those eyes. Calm. Gentleness. A heart. Sharon was the best human being she had ever met.  
Tarja blushed slightly and Sharon smiled. "How is it even possible to be so beautiful as you are?" she whispered and caressed Tarja's jaw. "I'm so jealous of your cheekbones."  
Tarja replied nothing and the elevator door went open. Wordlessly she pulled the woman outside and towards her room, where she unlocked the door with shaking hands.  
Had she been so nervous before her first time?  
Tarja doubted it but sadly she couldn't remember.  
She felt Sharon's warm breath on her neck and her soft hand on her waist.  
Tarja turned around and smiled. "Ready?"  
"For you?" Sharon whispered. "Always."  
Tarja sighed and wrapped her arms around the taller woman, pressing her against the door to make her shut. She got onto her tiptoes and kissed her greedily; finally she could feel those soft, warm lips again.  
"Tarja -" Sharon moaned into the other singer's mouth and slowly let her hand trail lower. "Please ... Let me touch you ... I want you ..."  
"Where?" Tarja breathed, her genitals throbbing with need.  
"I don't know - shower," Sharon decided and Tarja pulled her away from the door and towards the bathroom, where she pulled away, her cheeks red.  
"Sharon ... I have a confession to make."

Sharon's heart stared racing. A confession? What could Tarja confess to her? Her love??  
"Tell me," Sharon said, her voice sounding calmer than she felt on her inside. She could see the smaller woman take a deep breath.  
"I've never - slept with a woman before," she then said fast and quietly, her eyes avoiding Sharon's. "I don't know about you, I mean, you're older than me, only three years, okay, but you come around more often than I and you had more collaborations with female singers than I did already, and -"  
Tarja went quiet when Sharon took a step closer to her and put her hand on her cheek.  
"Tarja ... This is going to be my first time as well," she confessed, which made the younger woman smile.  
What a beautiful, honest, breathtaking and absolutely stunning smile she had.  
Sharon put her hands on Tarja's jacket, pulling it off of her. The jacket fell on the ground, her blouse following soon. Sharon sunk her lips on Tarja's collarbone while she unclasped Tarja's the bra, letting it fall in the floor as well. Tarja closed her eyes as Sharon brought up her gently hands, carefully feeling her breasts ...  
And Sharon couldn't wait to feel Tarja's hands on her own breasts. She caressed them gently, carefully, knowing how much it could hurt. Tarja moaned quietly and sharon knelt down, opening Tarja's jeans.  
"Don't you want to undress as well?" Tarja suddenly asked and Sharon chuckled.  
"I rather thought that you could undress me ..."  
Tarja swallowed but didn't answer. Sharon moaned as she pulled the jeans and panties over Tarja's hips, leaving her in her naked glory.  
And once Tarja had stepped out of her jeans, she practically ripped off the dress that Sharon was wearing, careful enough not to destroy it, of course.  
And finally the Dutch felt the Finn's hands on her breasts, caressing them, feeling them, kissing them.  
Tarja switched on the water in the shower and the went inside.  
Hot water fell on their naked bodies, leaving their skin slightly red. No one said a word. They just looked at each other, caressed each other, shyly, slowly, gently.  
Soon their hair was wet and even darker. Deep black. Sharon looked down at the woman with the angular face, which was framed by deep black, wet hair. Her hands went lower, thumbs brushing over two light pink nipples, lower, caressing her flat belly, lower ...  
Tarja closed her eyes as Sharon took one of her legs and lifted it up and around her hip, entering her with her fingers.  
"Oh God ..." Tarja whispered and wrapped her arms around Sharon, supporting herself on the taller woman's shoulder. "Oh my ..."  
"My beauty ..." Sharon moaned and dipped her fingers deeper inside until she couldn't go further. "Please let me taste you ..."  
Tarja gasped as her back hit the cold wall, Sharon herself going deeper and deeper with her lips until she reached the desired spot. Soon everything around Tarja was forgotten, every sorrow, every bad memory. She could only feel this warm, wet tongue that caused so many beautiful sounds moving inside her, her mind slowly going crazy. She could only say the name of the causer, the causer of this amazing feeling.  
"Sh-Sharon ..."  
She grabbed her shoulders. "How -?!" the Finn started, followed by a wave of words in her mother language.  
Sharon only understood "vittu" and pulled away to look at the other singer. Her eyes were closed and her mouth was open, a look of pure pleasure on her face.  
Then she said nothing for a while and after another while, she cupped Sharon's face and looked into her chocolate brown eyes.  
"How did you do that?" she asked. "Make me cum so fast ..."  
Sharon grinned. "I'm a woman, maybe that's the reason? I know what I like, just touched you at the same places I touch myself while I think of you ..."  
"Oh, come on," Tarja said and blushed. "You don't mean that."  
"I mean it exactly the way I said it," Sharon claimed and Tarja smiled a little shy.  
"Let's get out ... I want to take you on the bed."

So they got out of the shower, drying each other gently, kissing each others exposed body parts.  
Until Tarja took Sharon's hand and led her to the bed, almost throwing her on it. She sat down on the Dutch's thighs and started caressing her upper body, her big breasts, leant down and kissed the valley between them, licked it gently.  
"Oh, Tarja ..." Sharon whispered and suddenly she noticed that Tarja was sliding off her body. "Tarja ...?"  
"Shhh ..." Tarja calmed her and parted her legs. "Oh ..."  
No one said a word for a moment, Tarja's eyes darted between Sharon's face and her inviting middle ... Tarja was blushing heavily.  
"I've never done this before," she said with an apologetic look and Sharon nodded.  
"I know. Don't stress yourself, my beauty."  
Tarja took a deep breath before she brought her face down.  
Her licks were shy and slow but never had Sharon felt something more erotic. Not even Robert was able to do this in way that felt ... Right! With Robert it felt hot only, with Tarja it felt so right ...  
And other than Robert, Tarja also knew where and how exactly to touch her ... No forcing squeeze, only gentle caresses.  
Sharon went crazy as, after her first orgasm, Tarja replaced her tongue with a vibrator she pulled out of her nightstand and continued taking her!  
Now it was Sharon's turn to let out Dutch curses, as the vibrator was thicker than anything she had ever felt between her thighs. And the fact that Tarja used exactly the same vibrator made her even more horny; a picture of a masturbating Tarja wouldn't leave her mind and made her climax for the second time.  
She didn't even wait until the feeling was completely gone though, as Tarja placed herself on the other woman, she rolled her over and pressed her shoulders on the bed.  
The Finn's cheeks were red and her green eyes and pupils were widened. And Sharon's lips made their way down to do the same to Tarja she had done to her.

"Sharon??"  
"Sharon, damn, are you in there?!" "Open!!"  
"Tarja? Sharon is gone! Is she with you?"  
"Vittu -" Tarja awoke with a shock and after noticing the naked arm around her, her heart almost stopped. She turned around and this time her heart ached as she looked at the naked and sleeping woman next to her.  
This wasn't meant to be.  
"Sharon?" she whispered and stroke the rosy cheeks. "Sharon, your band mates are outside the door," she whispered before she called "she's still sleeping!" towards the door. "Sharon ..." She shook the dark haired and finally the Dutch singer moved and opened her eyes.  
And smiled. "Hyvää huomenta, Tarja ..." she whispered in the most adorable Finnish that Tarja had ever heard.  
"Good morning Sharon," Tarja replied. "Your guys are waiting ..."  
"Is she awake now?" Jeroen called in the same moment. "Tell her we have to fly!"  
Sharon suddenly grabbed Tarja's hand. "No -!" she whispered. "I want to stay ..."  
Tarja didn't know what to do, so she cupped Sharon's cheek as she had done the day before. She pressed a quick kiss on her lips and whispered:  
"Promise me we'll meet."  
"I promise. I promise to everything that's holy, Tarja, I don't want to leave ..."  
"Shh ..." Tarja noticed how her eyes teared up - a feeling that she normally could suppress quite easily. "We'll meet. We'll meet, sweetheart ..."  
"But we won't ... be together, right?" Sharon asked with a voice filled with sadness.  
"No," Tarja whispered in reply. "We won't ..."  
The kiss they shared was the last for two whole years ... Until they met again.


	4. Chapter 4

August 8th, 2016

"Can you perform with us again?"  
The chocolate eyes of the dark haired were pleading, yet it was hard for Tarja to give in. Especially after last time.  
Last time had been at the Hellfest in France, and since Tarja and Within Temptation both had had to perform, Tarja hadn't been able to say no. But this time it was different: Tarja had no gig at M'era Luna, she wasn't even near to it. She would have to travel there only for Sharon ...  
"Okay," she finally sighed and her heart almost melted as she saw the relief in Sharon's eyes.  
"And can we - can we talk after the show?" Sharon asked quietly. "About what happened last time at Hellfest."  
"What happened at Hellest?" Tarja asked, raising an eyebrow.  
"Nothing," Sharon said and smiled sadly. "Nothing happened. That's what I want to talk about. I thought we were ... closer. You know."  
"I know what you mean." Tarja rubbed her temples. She had had an exhausting week, festivals, festivals the release of The Shadow Self, festivals, festivals, ... Tarja hadn't slept much in the last week.  
"So ..." Sharon started again. "Are you up for a talk afterwards?"  
"Sure, yeah," Tarja said. "Sorry, I was thinking. So, when do I have to be there?"  
Tarja could see how happy Sharon was and it hurt her a little. Would she expect that something would happen again? Tarja now knew for sure - she wasn't gay.  
But still her heart was beating when she looked at the Dutch ...

August 14th

Tarja was waiting. She could hear Sharon's beautiful voice from the outside and she knew she still had a little time ... She was singing Mother Earth, one of the best songs in Tarja's opinion ... Tarja looked at the setlist. Paradise wasn't until in twenty minutes ... She still had loads of time for ...  
Periscope!  
Tarja grabbed her phone and soon she was live-streaming.  
"I'm here at M'era Luna," she informed her fans with a broad smile, "and I can't wait to sing with Sharon."  
»I love the way you say 'Sharon',« was the first comment and Tarja smiled.  
"What should I wear? Black or white?"  
White, the fans decided.  
»Say something in Spanish!«  
Grinning, Tarja sent love to her Argentine fans. For a while she was just smiling and reading the comments.  
»You're sooo beautiful.«  
»Niin kaunis.«  
»Ravishing!«  
»So stunning❤!«  
»Bellissima, Tarja«  
»Marry me, please!!«  
»Kaunotar!«  
»You are my queen.«  
»I love you.«  
»I can't wait to hear you live with Sharon!«  
»So wunderschön!«  
»Marry meee!!!«  
»Dang you're hot«  
»Mennään naimisiin...«  
Tarja laughed. "I'm sorry, I am already married ... but thanks for the offer," she laughed.  
»My queen...«  
»Hübsche Tarja❤«  
»Idolini!«  
»Linda!!«  
»Ma belle!«  
»You and Sharon belong to each other.«  
"What?" Tarja asked, suddenly confused.  
»You and Sharon Den Adel. You are made for each other.«  
Tarja laughed again, suddenly creeped out by that comment.  
»Don't laugh, you know what I mean. You and Sharon ... You're in love ...«  
»They so are!«  
»Sharja for life!! ❤«  
"I'm going to stop now," Tarja said. Usually she enjoyed reading and answering the comments but this ...  
She quickly shut her phone off and changed into her white stage outfit - a corset and a skirt that reached until the floor. And fitting white high heels.  
She turned around to look at her backside and nodded. She looked acceptable. Sharon would think she was stunning, just like last time ... But last time Tarja had hugged her and left, she had left as quick as possible. This time ...  
Tarja shook her head. This time she would tell Sharon that this thing that had happened between them had been and was as wrong as it could be. Both of them were married. Both had children. Tarja somehow wished to have a concert the next day, this way she could leave after her appearace.  
But she didn't. She had a free day.  
Tarja was shaking. Soon.  
She smiled slightly; soon was her favourite word. It made the fans go crazy. But now it was really soon, too soon until she would see Sharon in her beautiful rose dress. The one that made her look so, so curvy. Tarja hadn't known how sexy curves could be but whenever she looked at Sharon, she found her utterly sexy. And she couldn't stop thinking of how those naked limbs had been beneath her, how she had crawled on her and kissed -  
Tarja ripped her eyes open. No! She couldn't think of that now. She had probably screwed up everything as she had ended the live stream right after someone had said something about her and Sharon ... She was sure the fanworld was going mad at the moment.  
Tarja got a light heart attack as she heard Sharon's voice.  
"Wow ... Thank you so much, Germany! Now ... How about a little surprise?"  
The crowd screamed and, to her amusement, Tarja could make out a special song ...  
"Oleee, ole ole ole. Tarja, Tarja!"  
Tarja laughed. This song had travelled all the way from Argentina to simply every country she was touring in. It was crazy.  
"That's right!" Sharon shouted. "She came only for me - come on stage please, wonderful TARJA!"  
Tarja was flushed in her face as she entered the stage, bathing in applause. Sharon and her embraced and then they started singing Paradise.  
Tarja could only stare.  
This dress was amazing ... It made Sharon look so, so beautiful. And hot ...  
Also Sharon could only stare. She had never thought that Tarja would wear the white stage outfit on her show! The last one had been sexy already, but it didn't even come close to this one. Sharon felt a sudden urge to rip the corset off her ... Well, the fans wouldn't mind.  
While they were singing, Sharon seeked for touches all the time. She touched Tarja's shoulder, arm, hand, ... Tarja always ran away. Only one time Tarja seemed to be unable to resist - she pulled Sharon close, laid her cheek on the other woman's cheek and kissed the air. Sharon was laughing, even though she was hurt.  
The air was filled with applause and more "Sharja" cries as Tarja waved goodbye.  
"Tarja, wait," Sharon suddenly said into her microphone. She was breathing hard and waving as well.  
"Yeah?" Tarja was also panting and looking as Sharon approached her, a nervous look on her face.  
Tarja was smiling at her, telling her trough her calming look that she didn't need to be nervous. She would only hug her and they had hugged plenty of times already.  
But Sharon didn't hug her.  
Not only.  
After she had wrapped her arms around the smaller woman, she pulled her close and pressed her lips on Tarja's.  
Tarja gasped and so did the crowd. The screams of the watchers weren't audible to Sharon and the flashlights of their phones as they took pictures weren't visible. But what Sharon noticed was Tarja's stiff body - and the quiet, unhappy "Mhhh" that came out of her closed mouth. Sharon opened her mouth and as quick as Tarja could, she ran away.  
Sharon stares after her, her heart breaking.  
She still ignored the crowd, the growling, screaming and clapping crowd.  
Sharon had thought everything would be alright with this kiss. That Tarja would kiss her back and they could have their coming out right on stage ...  
Sharon lifted the microphone up to her lips.  
"My God, Tarja," she chuckled. "This woman is way too Finnish. Kisses between friends are normal, what do you think?" The crowd still cheered and Sharon looked around. Tarja had left the stage. She sighed. "Tarja - I'm sorry. I didn't want to creep you out, to be honest I even thought you weren't that much of a Finn. Let's talk later, okay? Love you. Now, who wants to hear Let Us Burn??"

Love you ...  
Love you ...  
Tarja still couldn't believe what Sharon had said. And done! She had kissed her! On stage!! What if Marcelo saw that? Naomi?? Her fans had all seen that, everyone who had watched the live stream ...  
Tarja buried her face in her hands. She didn't dare to open twitter or Instagram. What could she say to Marcelo? He knew that she wasn't "the typical Finn," she enjoyed hugging and kissing - well, she had gotted used to it. But fact was, Marcelo would know why she had run away. Because it had been embarrassing for her, because she, if she hadn't run away, would have kissed Sharon back with all her passion. Tarja sighed into her palms. It wasn't that she didn't want to be with Sharon - she wanted to. But she couldn't! They had husbands, kids, ...  
Tarja hadn't noticed that she was sobbing, until two soft hands pulled her up and the owner of the hands pulled her into a tight hug.  
"I meant it," the beautiful voice of the beautiful brunette whispered into her ear. "I love you, Tarja. I love you so much and I wish you would love me just as much."  
Tarja turned around and hugged Sharon back. Their from sides pressed against each others, Tarja whispered:  
"I wish I could, Sharon." And before she went away, she kissed the brunette's lips for a wonderful minute, not caring about the Dutch band watching. No one said a word as Tarja passed them, tears streaming down her cheeks.  
Jeroen was the first to find his voice again. "Oh, Sharon," he whispered gently and hugged the crying singer. "Don't let her get to you, please. It isn't meant to be ..."  
"I know," Sharon sobbed. "I know ... Fuck love."  
Jeroen held her close.

Tarja flew back to Spain.  
Her daughter would start school soon and now she wanted to concentrate on her and her husband only. A husband she had cheated on ...  
Tarja shook the thought off (again with the excuse that Sharon was no man, it was no cheating) and leaned back in her seat.  
And couldn't help bit listen to Paradise ...  
What about us? Isn't it enough? No, we're not in paradise. This is who we are, this is what we've got; no, it's not our paradise. But it's all we want and it's all that we're fighting for ... Thought it's not paradise.  
Tarja had never seen how fitting this text was ... She of course knew that it was about something else, but it could also be about her and Sharon! 'This is who we are' ... Was this who they were?  
'But it's all we want and it's all that we're fighting for' ...  
Tarja clenched her fists. She had been stupid to run off, she loved that woman with every fibre of her body! The time they were parted had been too hard and too lonely. Tarja needed the beautiful woman on her side.  
But she had broken her heart ...  
'No,' Tarja told herself. 'I'm with Marcelo and that's good. Years ago I almost went back to Tuomas only because we had sex every now and then - but I didnt and that was good. Now he is happy and I am happy. Well, I was ...'  
Tarja wished to go back in time, preferably when Sharon had asked her to sing with them.  
She should have disagreed ...  
Tarja turned to the window, buried her face in the pillow she had brought and let the years flow ...

"Mommy is back!" Naomi screamed as Tarja entered the house. "Mommy! Mommy!"  
"Hi, baby!" Tarja shouted happily as he little girl jumped right into her arms. "Oh, I missed you so much - hi!"  
Marcelo had come through the threshold and was grinning at his wife.  
"Hi, Love."  
"Hi," Tarja said again and pressed a kiss on her husband's lips. "How have you two been? I can't believe  was only gone for a week -"  
"A week in which everything has changed?" Marcelo said and Tarja frowned.  
"What?"  
Marcelo took Naomi from Tarja, put her down and sent her to the living room to play. Then he took Tarja's hand and led her to the kitchen. "I've seen the performance," he said almost sadly. "And when Sharon kissed you."  
"Oh, that," Tarja said and laughed. "She's cute, isn't she?"  
"And very into you," Marcelo said and Tarja laughed again.  
"You're wrong."  
"I'm not. I could see it in her face ... When you pushed her away, this hurt and depressed look she wore ... she's in love with you."  
"Alright, she is," Tarja sighed. "She told me." She couldn't keep this secret from her husband ... Not this time.  
"And are you also in love with her?" Marcelo asked, his face full of pain. He didn't want that ... He'd probably accept it but he didn't want to give her away ... He was a good man, he'd probably let her go to make her happy ...  
"No," Tarja said, her voice far away. "I'm not in love with her. I mean she's amazing and stuff but - no."  
"Did -" Marcelo swallowed. "Did something else happen between you two? Besides the kiss ..."  
"Yes," Tarja said softly. "I'm sorry."  
"It's okay," Marcelo said quietly. "At least you told me ..." He looked crushed, so Tarja decided not to tell him about Tuomas. Never. It had happened more than ten years ago, if she told him now, things wouldn't be pretty.

Marcelo was crushed for about two months. Soon Tarja's shadow tour started, and while she was driving around in Germany, Belgium, Netherlands, Austria, Switzerland and Spain, her husband took care of their daughter.  
In those two months he hadn't tried to sleep with his wife - not because he was angry or disgusted or something else. He was simply trying to give his wife peace to find out. And when her tour ended, she came back and kissed her husband mindlessly.  
The following night was passionate and while Marcelo tried everything to make Tarja decide for him, the singer could only think about Sharon.  
"Did you hear about their divorce?" she asked the next day, while sipping a cup of coffee.  
"Whose?" Marcelo asked and Tarja stared into her cup.  
"Sharon's and Robert's," she said quietly and Marcelo shook his head.  
"No - when did they -?"  
"Two weeks ago," Tarja replied. "Marcelo, do you think I'm the reason?"  
"Well, Sharon looks quite sad when interviewers mention you," Marcelo mumbled. "I don't know, do you think so?"  
"I think so," Tarja sighed. "Probably she finally told him. I'm surprised her band mates could hold that secret for so long ..."  
"Do you want to be with her?" Marcelo asked and Tarja once again heard the heartbroken and desperate sound in his voice.  
"No," she said. "I don't. I will stay with you."

Sharon was broken.  
After the divorce with Robert she had waited for Tarja to call. And she had waited and waited.  
But the only reason for her divorce from her beloved husband hadn't called her.  
But the Dutch woman acted strong and went on, she accepted more gigs and concerts than ever. She wanted to come on other thoughts and concentrated on songwriting. And recording those songs. Soon the new album would come out, and they would even be able to perform some songs at their Christmas tour ... Which would soon start.  
Sharon had followed Tarja's shadow tour a little and she had almost bought a ticket for the concert in the Netherlands, but she had changed her mind in the last minute.  
She couldn't do that.  
Tarja didn't want to know anything about her anymore ...  
Then she had told Robert.  
She had told him everything, that she and Tarja had had sex and that she was quite sure about her feelings for the beautiful Finn - she loved her.  
And Robert had reacted differently than Sharon had expected. She knew him for more than thirty years and she really hadn't expected him to be furious and angry. He was ashamed and he wanted divorce immediately. Sharon had cried and apologised, told him that Tarja wouldn't want her anyway, but he hadn't cared. He had told her he would fight for their children's custody.  
He had won.  
And Sharon was broken.  
First she had lost Tarja, then she had lost her husband, then she had lost her children.  
She only had her band left, and luckily her bandmates were understanding enough to know why she had changed so rapidly. Why the only important thing for her seemed to be her band now ...

So the Black Christmas tour started and much to Sharon's dismay, they had three concerts in Finland: Helsinki, Joensuu and Tampere. Sharon had been against Joensuu first, since it wasn't that far away from Kitee, but she had thought about it again and decided that Tarja wouldn't be in Kitee around that time anyway. It was Christmas. She would be in Spain, with her little family ...  
Sadly she had forgotten the small fact that Tarja was touring trough Finland around Christmas time.  
And Tarja almost got a heart attack as she noticed that Within Temptation was having a concert fifty minutes away from her - at the same evening.  
Her hands were shaking as she saw the newest Instagram post ("Getting ready for our gig in Joensuu tonight - bundle up, Finland! ;)")  
Tarja was having a Christmas concert at the Kiteen church and after Tarja calculated quickly, she noticed that she could go to that concert. Undercover. She called her friend Sirja and asked her to join. And Sirja immediately agreed, even promised Tarja to wait at the car in front of the church, so they could immediately drive after Tarja's concert.  
Within seconds their plan had formed, and as much as Tarja loved Kitee - she knew she loved Sharon more.  
"Hyvää yötä, dearest hometown," she said, "I'm very sorry but I have to leave - I have to catch the love of my life."  
Cheering sounded after her as she rushed out of the church and jumped into the car. "Faster, Sirja!" she panted, while she typed a message ...  
Marcelo ... I'm sorry. I love you, you know that. But I've found my soulmate ... Thank you so much for understanding and thank you so much for everything you did for me. I love you.

"Thank you, Joensuu ... You were awesome! Thank you so much and a happy Christmas!"  
The crowd cheered, shouted her name.  
"Sharooooon!"  
"See you again in 2017!"  
"Sharon I love you!"  
"I love you too, you're really cute! I love you all, my dearest dragons! I -"  
Sharon went silent when she spotted the face in the crowd that had screamed "I love you".  
"T - Tarja?" she whispered and Tarja waved.  
"I'm here, Sharon! I'm here!"  
"Tarja ..." Sharon whispered again, tears forming in her eyes. "Guys - could you all please let Tarja pass? Please?"  
The screams got louder when Tarja pressed herself through the crowd, people touched her and hugged her quickly, screamed and cried. Some screamed "Sharja" again, and as Tarja had finally reached the stage, Sharon pulled her on it.  
They hugged tightly, both of them crying madly. And as Sharon sunk her lips on Tarja's - this time Tarja didn't push her back, this time she kissed her back.  
They kissed for minutes, hours, years, so it felt, and when they pulled apart, their eyes were shining.  
"I love you," Tarja whispered, finally knowing that she had done the right thing.  
"Love you too," Sharon said, as happy as she had never been before. "This is by far the best Christmas present I've ever received ..."  
Tarja grinned. "Well then ... Merry Christmas, my love ..."  
They kissed again, not caring about the crowd, whether they were happy or shocked.  
Their own happiness was the only thing that mattered. And they both knew they would be happy forever.  
'Cause this was who they were.

\--- the end ---


End file.
